Chickens in a box

I remember once saying to Eddie, "I'm tired and I'm cold. Ask me something else.' To add insult to injury, my side of our dual-control electric blanket is broken. The irony is not lost on me as Eddie eases himself into warmed sheets while I grit my teeth and try not to shriek with cold as the icy duvet cover enfolds me. It is freezing. What has life held for us these past weeks? I can't write one of these posts without mentioning the kitchen (sadly). In a nutshell, anything that the builder is not responsible for, has been done. So we now have a working kitchen, an oven, underfloor heating and an altogether fabulous space. As far as the extension goes, it's still the battle of the Somme encased in concrete out there. Being without the ability to communicate, manage or plan are limitations in a builder. His current approach is to send minions round at 8.30am on Saturday mornings, presumably because that's the only time he is prepared to release them from...

Replace 'deer' with 'geese', 'Richmond Park' with 'Donnington Grove' and 'Fenton' with 'Dolly'. https://youtu.be/3GRSbr0EYYU #Butterwouldntmelt

Pingers are my worst nightmare. They're the people who go down to the park with their dogs, huddle in the middle and throw balls with those plastic pingers over and over again whilst chatting to their mates. The concept of actually walking their dogs, has clearly never occurred to them. And for the most part, their fluffy companions are only capable of fetching the never-ending stream of balls and bringing them back. There's nothing else in their lives, poor things. Invariably when Dolly and I turn up, the other dogs either spin round and sprint for her, or crouch and creep towards us, ready to pounce. Either way, the pinging owners see the change in behaviour and begin to call their dogs back; "Fluffy! Fluffy! Here Fluffy! Fluffy? FLUFFY!!" Fluffy takes no notice whatsoever. In the meantime Dolly sees another dog (or dogs) bounding towards her, or about to pounce, doubles in size as her fur puffs out to the max and braces herself for whatever's coming. It...

RIP Peaches. Found bedraggled and deceased in her pen. Cause of death unknown. She was a brave and independent soul and we wish her happiness in the Great Chicken Run in the Sky. And amidst the endless detritus left by numerous incompetent contractors, Dolly has managed to step in the fibre glass resin they're using to seal the roof of the extension. I couldn't work out why she was yanking out lumps of fur from her pads, and then realised it was because the fur had completely solidified. A weekend spent cutting tufts of solid fur from between an Alsatian's pads with nail scissors, has to be one of the least fun things I've ever done.

The evenings are drawing in, it's pissing down with rain and we are STILL cooking on the two ring gas hob, the only bonus is that now it's inside. Unless you have to use the BBQ, in which case it's to the bottom of the garden with you, to stand outside in the dark and the rain waiting for the snags to do. Today a young lad came over - straight round the back, no one bothers ringing the front door bell anymore - to tell me he'd been sent to 'tidy up'. LOL. OK.  So I showed him the sweater (that had been left out for the past two weeks), tarps floating round the garden, the mountain of scree and rubble in the drive that has blocked the way for the skip lorry to empty the over-flowing skip, or the porta-loo lorry to empty the (over-flowing? My God, I can't bear to even think about it) porta-loo. Most amused to see his eyes widen and blood drain from his face. Good luck with the 'tidying up' matey. A few minutes later, a man in a Defender turned u...

I'll start with the new kitchen. The short version of the story is that very little has happened in the last three months. We are still living in the dining room, eating food you can cook on the BBQ, a borrowed 2 x ring gas hob and in the slow cooker. Brick dust is embedded in the pores of our skin, spreads across every floor, sticks to the windows and coats every surface with a thin, rust-coloured film. Our meals consist of reheated mince, curry, hot dogs, burgers, anti-pasti and sandwiches. My September tradition of baking the Christmas cake is impossible, given we don't have an oven, as is James' birthday cake. What I wouldn't give for a fish finger sandwich. Today, as most days, I sit working; looking out at an empty wasteland of rubble. The only sliver of light in this depressing scenario, is that it's not raining. At the moment Alexander and Vanessa are over for a week en route to their incredible African honeymoon. We were hoping to do the Big Reveal o...

It's roasting today, 30 degrees plus, and I've been up to Argos to buy the boys a cheap two man tent so they can go out later, build a fire at the back of the garden and camp out for the night. We've got frankfurters and rolls, bananas to roast in foil and Nutella to go with them. But no marshmallows. As we all know, no camp is complete without toasting marshmallows, so with the dual purpose of finding some, and collecting Pokemon, the boys set off on their scooters on a search for marshmallows. They had no luck at Brummell Road or the Co-Op, and a tomato-faced William came home empty handed while James continued on to Waitrose for a last try. He finally came home twenty minutes later, bright red and clutching a packet of heart-shaped marshmallows. Stomping past Dolly and I he announced "Got them on the house. They couldn't find the ones I wanted, so they gave these to me on the house." A pause as he rummaged in his pocket and I digested this incredible ...

I'm not having a good time with the bees. For starters, in both hives, the queens have snuck into a super - so everyone essentially has a brood and a half to fill with baby bees, while I am two supers (that could be full of honey) down. On the positive front, Hollywood is going great guns working with two supers above the brood +1/2, one of which was full at the weekend, so I decided to go for it and extract. Of course at the moment, I can't do this in the kitchen, basically because there isn't one, which meant uncapping and spinning the frames outside where the sink is currently. The exercise, in sweltering heat, turned into Happy Hour for every bee and wasp in The Square. And for the bees in Hollywood, Unhappy Hour, as they were absolutely incandescent with rage that I'd taken their honey and spent the rest of the afternoon chasing me around the garden, attempting to sting as much of me as possible. Working in teams, clumps of bees targeted the seams of my gloves,...

Each day we lose slightly more of our house. It's like bits of it are being very slowly shaved off and it now looks like a roman ruin reminiscent of Pompeii. I've got visions of us all being mummified in brick dust before this is over.  In the meantime I seem to have turned into the ' Invisible Woman ' off the Fast Show. Replace car enthusiasts with builders and you've pretty much summed it up. I have literally become the maker of tea, walker of puppy and ferrier (ferryier?) of children, with occasional bursts of shrillness born of being ignored, which interrupt the builders' deeply important, muttered conversations about concrete, nibs and other important issues and result in pained smiles as they listen politely, stare past my left ear - and then return to the concrete discussion.  Can anybody hear me? Only when I'm putting the kettle on apparently. 

I'm beginning to realise that being the owner of a German Shepherd, albeit a small one, definitely causes a stir. People either back away (parents of small children shielding their precious cargoes from any possible attack), or come up to us to tell Dolly how beautiful she is and how they've grown up with German Shepherds and have always wanted one. "That's a magnificent animal," said one man in the pub last Sunday. Fortunately, for the most part it's the latter that we tend to meet on our travels. Dolly may not fit in a handbag, but she certainly makes a statement. 😉

Well, figuratively speaking, all over the dining room. The stench was indescribable. An inauspicious start to the day and it took a long time for the smell to eventually dissipate. Not ideal when I have to work - and eat - in the same room. Meanwhile outside the full force of the elements took hold as the weather mirrored our building works and set itself on a path of total destruction. Given that we can only get into the kitchen by going outside the front door and round the front of the house, this made for an unrelentingly miserable day of being permanently wet and cold.  Dolly was most unimpressed by the rain and howled at me to make it stop. Unable to oblige, she proceeded to protest at my inability to control the elements by shredding a large section of carpet underlay.  Daisy also howled. In her case expressing her hatred of the dog, builders, weather, human race and the universe in general. As she reluctantly slunk into the house to avoid the downpour, I did...

We're down in Sussex for a few days visiting the family, it's been ages since we've been back and with the weather so glorious, Eddie's been making all sorts of plans for outings for us. It's a beautiful county and great to get out and about. Yesterday we went for lunch at The Hatch  followed by a walk on the Ashdown Forest. Then it was off out to see Sue and Jim's new house and enjoy a Mexican feast with the family. My great-nephew Oliver who is seven, loves the new house, and offered to show the boys and I some of the horses that lived down the track. We all set off to go and say hello. Having stroked the two horses in the field nearby, we walked down into some pretty woodland, following the stream there down to another gate with two shetlands and a larger pony in it (me picking my way along in heels and my new tea dress that I'd brought to wear for the supper). The boys had great fun crossing the little stream to see the horses in the field on...

Today the builders turned up and got serious. Armed with drills, saws, hammers and God knows what else, they proceeded to tear the kitchen down. This meant boarding-up all the doors in and out of the old kitchen so that we now only have access to the cooking area via the front door and round the side of the house. The noise has been indescribable and inescapable. Dolly and I ended up barricading ourselves into the snug, but it didn't make a lot of difference. Fortunately I didn't have any calls until later on, and Dolly tucked herself into the gap in the desk where my legs go, curled up and went to sleep. The crunch came at 4pm when I had two very important back-to-back calls. I asked another mum to pick James up from school but of course when he got home he couldn't work out how to get in the house. Emerging from the snug I hissed at Will to go and get him. The penny dropped tortuously slowly (possibly deliberately so). Call number two and this time I asked the two b...

"I just saw one of your mates in Waitrose, she asked how you were," said Eddie breezily as he came in with the shopping on Saturday morning. "I told her you were a woman on the edge." It was a fair summary, but in my defence, trying to organise a dinner party in a building site is less than ideal. Add in a puppy and two not-very-small-constantly-fighting-boys and it's a recipe for the total shredding of nerves. Onwards to dinner planning. I made it to the bath and surrounded myself with as many face and hair masks, exfoliators and bath salts as I could. I opened my book (Circe, by Madeline Miller) and prepared to spend half an hour in peace and tranquillity. "Mummy! William won't let me watch Maze Runner." It's James - outraged. "Tell him I said you can watch it and he has to turn over." That should do it, I thought (wrongly as it turned out) and go back to Circe, who's about to meet Odysseus for the first time. "Mumm...

It's week two of puppy training and Dolly surpassed herself on the 'Stay'. Sadly our moment of glory didn't last long as I admitted to the group that I let Dolly have the occasional mackerel fillet as a treat. There was a pause. "You give her what? Mackerel?" Asked the instructor in hushed tones of utter disbelief. "Well..I worry she might not eat enough." I stammered, while the rest of the class shuffled their feet and looked intently down at their shoes. With an almost imperceptible shake of her head, the instructor turned away. The shame. The mackerel shame. I am clearly a terrible, irresponsible dog owner who will ruin her puppy through over-indulgence.

Peace, quiet, order and house - all in the process of being demolished as we embark upon our epic kitchen extension. It's been seven years in the planning. In that time Eddie has painstakingly restored every room in our home and it looks stunning. How he does it I have no idea. If it was down to me we'd be living in a tumbledown cottage in the middle of nowhere, with a garden full of weeds and chickens. Thank goodness it isn't. This morning we were woken by the dulcet tones of a hammer drill forcing its way through what's left of the orangery foundations. Trying to concentrate on a conference call with that racket, plus a defecating, urinating, hyper-active puppy, was a considerable challenge. Straight onto mute, turn off video, grit teeth. 

Having a puppy is like having a baby...we had forgotten how exhausting young creatures can be. House training.  We watch Dolly like a hawk and try to estimate when she's likely to need the loo. We take her outside when we think she's about to go, hang about for ages while she potters about, has a wash, eats the hems of our trousers etc. Admitting defeat we come back in and Dolly wees on the floor. The 3.30am wake-up call is particularly unpleasant. I've taken to bringing my Kindle out with me to offset the boredom of the wait. Puppy training On Saturday we went to our first puppy training class where Dolly was the smallest, youngest and least disciplined. She gnawed her collar, attempted to eat her lead, and when that failed threw herself to the ground and had to be carried to the training area. Recall Dolly ignored me and went off to play with all the other dogs. Sit Dolly ignored me and wrestled Eric the beagle. Food manners Dolly attempted to bite my h...

Six months ago our lovely Bella passed away and I took on a new role at work. Fast forward to today, and we have a new puppy - Dolly! - in the house, and I have gone back to the role I left. Add into the mix the fact that our kitchen is finally underway and half the house is in the process of being demolished and it all makes for total and utter carnage. Last week nearly broke me. The upheaval at work, clearing up the indescribable horrors that emerge from Dolly when you least expect it...Everything everywhere, and all covered with a fine layer of dust. But now that the dust has settled, literally and metaphorically, I can honestly say that I have never felt more confident that I am 100% in the right place, on the right track, with the right people - and dogs. It feels good. Dolly aged nine weeks. 

Eddie's away again this week so I am holding the fort and commuting between home, Thorngrove and Bedfont. It sort of works, but means working most evenings to catch-up on the time I lose travelling. I end up working in some pretty odd places, tonight the boys had tennis, so I parked myself on a bench with the MacBook to check my emails. At least I got to spend some time outside, and watch the boys. Win, win? Sort of. Picking James up this afternoon I asked him, as always, how his day had gone. "It's been a really good day. How many flies do you think are on this page?" He answered. "56?" "No." "61?" "No. 76!" With glee. "How come you've drawn a page of flies?" I asked. "I did it in English." Of course he did. What else would you do in an English lesson, right?

After seven days of hard work, William's efforts pay off with a perfect sourdough loaf! After! Pre-bake.

Time to teach the boys to make sourdough. This is going to be an excellent project - from start(er) to finish. They have to write down the instructions each step of the considerable way and I hope at the end when they bake their loaves they'll have the same sense of achievement that I feel whenever I manage to bake a sourdough successfully (which to be honest, isn't often, but still...). Today is bake day. Will's first out of the traps as James is away on a sleepover and not back until after lunch. We were a bit worried William's starter had died yesterday as it developed an ominous layer of fluid on the top, but after school drop off I drained the fluid and gave it a stir and by this morning it had recovered so much it had actually bowed the top of its tupperware up. We poured in into lukewarm water and it floated beautifully. Mine NEVER does that. #sourdoughenvy.  This is the recipe we're using - so far it hasn't failed me.  https://www.rivercottag...

Another day at work, another evening at work. This week Eddie is in Detroit, so the boys and I treated ourselves to a Papa John's XXL Double Pepperoni which Will ate so fast he literally made himself sick. Onto his plate. Tonight was the Opening of the Parents Evening Booking Portal. A horrific system dreamed up by sadists whereby you wait by your computer until the portal is unlocked at 19.30 and there is a free-for-all as parents virtually scrabble for time with teachers. Ususally I'm a ninja at this, demonic in my determination to bag the best slots. But next Thursday I have to be on a call until 6pm so can't go to any of the early slots. Added to which Eddie's in Vienna all week and I can't remember what time he gets back. A narrower field meant that in the end I only managed to get four appointments, and missed out on Geography which I know William really wanted us to talk about (because he loves it). Beyond annoying. Back to work after the brief pizza/pa...

This week we had our monthly team meeting in Galway, most exciting because I could try out my new Samsonite luggage - one of the ones with the spinny wheels, very snazzy. The weather was unbelievable, gale force winds and torrential rain. Slogging up the M4 to T2 was nerve-wracking, the Mazda isn't designed for stormy motorways... Got to Heathrow and met up with my colleagues who were all in high spirits and trying to guess how bumpy the flight was going to be. Laughing with them on the outside, inside I was consumed with anxiety. In the end, most of the flight was OK, although I do have to admit to a medicinal Bombay Sapphire which was inhaled in seconds for the princely sum of £8.50 (worth it). And then the Captain came on; "We're being held outside Shannon while we wait for a gate to become available, so we'll be in a holding pattern for another 10 - 15 minutes." Turned out to be one of the most hellish, bumpy 15 minutes of my entire life. Swirling in the c...

Yesterday we held an incredible event called Women of Impact , bringing together countries and continents and sharing aspirations, experiences and learnings about how to empower women - and men - across the business to achieve their potential, build their confidence and live their dreams. It was fantastic and I came home buzzing. Opening the door after a clear run down the M4, music up loud, I was greeted by a super-stressed Eddie trying to keep on top of his emails while the boys were having some squabble or other. "Can you put on the bubble and squeak?" He asked, passing the dish. "Of course. I'll just go and get changed." I said. Going upstairs, I changed into my customary evening garb; slouch pants, Gap sweatshirt and 'The Snow Leopard' (a hideous, furry, faux-leopard-print dressing gown with a pale pink blush). Turning to find my fluffy slippers and finish the outfit I stepped in cat sick; a sprinkling of regurgitated kibbles with just enough...

An Ecosystem in the garden is something I've been banging on about for two years. On the back of a brown piece of paper I keep in the drawer of my dressing table, is a plan of what it would like, materials and costings.  As with all these things, timing and expense are of the essence. On Saturday morning the sun shone, the birds were singing, a carpet of daffodils and snowdrops covered the beds and I woke up full of Spring and a strong pull to be a part of it. As I studied the garden from my bedroom window thinking about where to put the new new ecosystem, James came in.  "We should go out and look for tadpoles," he announced. My thoughts precisely. Or rather, the next thought that I was just about to have after I'd decided what do to with the new Ecosystem we were going to make.  So James and I went for a 'tadpole run' all round the fields of East End where we know the ponds are; scrambling through brambles and at one point being chased by what we ...

It's taken me 24 hours to recover sufficiently to be able to summarise the debacle that was the half hour between 7.30am - 8.00am yesterday morning. N.B Take it as read that we'd gone through the whole; time to get up, draw your curtains, have you made your bed? Come down and help with breakfast, eat your breakfast etc. daily routine.  And now the curve ball from William at 7.45am, five minutes before we're all due to head off..."I just need to get my stuff for Food Tech." For those of you born of an older generation, Food Tech is what used to be Domestic Science or what we oldies commonly call Cookery. William has a lesson every week and this Thursday it was lasagne. He had managed to 'chop' a carrot and onion into various shapes and sizes and put it in tupperware (leaving detritus all over the kitchen top and floor). Eddie'd gone to the shops to get him his mince. So far so good. But what William had failed to do was measure and prepare all t...

Sometimes I feel like I live my whole life through words on a screen. I worry I won't actually be able to articulate what I'm trying to express without it being in text form first. I am immersed in words, words, words.  The other day, I spent about 12 hours sitting down in front of this machine, with about 30 minutes here and there (if you counted it up) to take breaks. And when I finally surfaced I just needed to get outside. So we had a barbecue, sitting in deckchairs by the chimnea (sp?), toasting marshmallows, identifying constellations, looking for Mars and putting the world to rights. There's something about being outside at night. It has a timelessness that takes you away from the world of the machines that seem to govern much of our lives. It's a few days later now, and the weather is still incredible for this time of year. Global warming I guess. The bees are out and the chickens pootling around the flowerbeds looking for snacks. It's fabulous to feel...

I haven't written about Bella since she died. Can't believe it's nearly four months ago now. Can't believe she isn't here, and how cruelly and suddenly she was taken from us. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her, or dream of her. Often I find myself standing quietly looking down on the carpet of snowdrops that cover the place where she lies, remembering her. Until the chickens find me and start pecking my boots anyway. Sometimes when I come in from work, or from a trip away, I wonder why she hasn't come to the gate to greet me. Then I remember. When Eddie or one of the boys leave their black backpacks down where Bella's bed was, I do a double-take thinking she's there. For a split second it's a dream. Until it's not. It is getting easier, you just have to put one foot in front of the other as I always tell myself. What else can you do? And I know that one day we'll be ready to bring a new puppy into the family, I know it will h...

...Just haven't been able to see one for the other recently. It's all I can do to keep my head above water. But I'm swimming. For now. Eddie's been away this weekend in Edinburgh with his mates, so it's been a quiet one for the boys and I. This morning I woke up and knew it was going to be a wonderful, sunny day - and so far it hasn't disappointed. We went to the gym this morning where I ploughed through Body Attack full of fry-up and nursing a double stitch for pretty much the whole class as a result. The boys went swimming, and we met up at the bench at 11am ready to argue about whether they'd be allowed gobstoppers or not (not).  Back home to bake this weekend's sourdough, which has worked for a second time running. Can it be that I have finally cracked it? My Holy Grail is to be one of those women who bakes sourdough every weekend, I am on the path at last. The boys have helped me prepare fish pie for supper, wrestle the chickens out of th...

I have turned into a watch tapper. Literally every five minutes I find myself glaring at some poor unsuspecting victim whilst furiously tapping the face of my watch. This is a new habit, formed after Cisco Live  in Barcelona last week which was primarily spent walking around 8Ks a day (according to my Health app) round the labyrinthine  Fira . Our schedules for Cisco Live were managed down to the last footstep; distances measured in minutes, presentations delivered to the second. And so the tapping of the watch began... Unfortunately I now seem unable to stop, which is a worry. Having done yet another 'glare and tap'  this morning, I've taken the advice of a colleague and moved the watch to my right wrist in the hope that it'll end this (slightly alarming) new practice. In other news, I'm out and about again, this time in Paris for a second time in four weeks. Being away is becoming increasingly difficult, mainly because these recent trips have come very clo...

This week is every working parent's worst nightmare. For starters, I'm in Barcelona for three days, and at the same time, Eddie has jury service for two weeks (which seems to mainly involve getting the train and sitting around drinking disgusting coffee before being sent home again). William is cycling to school. But. Has an inset on Wednesday (Wednesday? Seriously?). Something we had not foreseen and totally forgot about until he mentioned it in passing on Sunday. After a minor moment of total panic, we pulled ourselves together and managed to book him in with a mate for the day, until such time as Eddie can pick him up. In the meantime, James' school run is being managed by my friend Kay down the road, whose boys fortunately also go to Thorngrove so it's quite easy for them to all go together. But. Eddie texted me this morning to say that James had woken up with a temperature and may have caught the bug that's currently doing the rounds at school. I really h...

Long, long week. Too tired to type. Time for a martini. 🍸 Working from the classroom while James was at athletics training next door. 

We bought an X-Box for William and James just before William started at secondary school, because we didn't want them to be the odd ones out. I can honestly say that since that day it has been a source of concern, negativity, aggression and conflict. On all sides. Over time we've had to... Lock the room the X-Box is kept in  Lock the controllers in the gun safe Stage temporary X-Box bans Demand back the money that's been spent unwittingly on downloading games at the touch of the wrong button And diffused endless fights over... What game to play When to play How long to play for To play separately or together And the ultimate - when to switch the (damn) thing off.  On Friday the red mist descended on me and this time, was not to be denied by temporary measures. After yet another hour of bickering over which creatures to spawn in Ark, the end came when James lost his temper and switched off the machine, only to be chased up the stairs and punched by William. ...

The meeting ended, my taxi was waiting outside and home was within reach. Or so I thought... Sadly I hadn't factored in the horrendous Paris traffic, which literally crawled at a snails pace through the city. "What time did you say your train was?" Asked the driver, laissez-faire. Surely we weren't going to miss the 6.13pm to St Pancras after all that. Fortunately not, we got there with time to spare and I was soon ensconced in Costa with Les Miserables (which I've downloaded onto my new Kindle and am really enjoying. Never did get round to watching the film). An announcement that the electronic passport control machines weren't working didn't phase me, I was through and on my way. Or so I thought... Alas the passengers now trying to get through passport control electronically couldn't, and had to be processed by actual human beings. This departure from the machines meant that the train was delayed by 25 minutes, presumably while the unfortunate ...

Last week Eddie was in Dallas (to name but a few of his stop offs) and this week it's my turn, only fortunately closer to home in Paris. Even better - trainable rather than having to faff with a flight. As ever, a lot of information to process, in a small, stuffy room with a packed agenda and a lot of slides. But as always the people never fail to be absolutely lovely and I feel extremely lucky to be part of such a fantastic team. Heading out into the fresh air and walking to our incredible restaurant Minipalais , was equally amazing. It's always great to spend time with people you were (slightly) intimidated by 12 hours earlier and now find are just genuinely nice, funny, human beings.  Having said that, it's now 11.30pm, my bag is packed and all I can think about is going home. I wonder if I'll ever get used to being away?

Eddie's in the US this week, on what seems to be a never-ending round of internal flights, customer meetings and horrible hotels. With the US Government on hold while they fight about paying for the the Wall, chaos reigns at the airports, adding to his misery. In the meantime I'm holding the fort at home. I've told William to get on his bike, literally, because I don't have time to drop off or pick up. James still needs taking in, but my new year's resolution on the school front, is never to drive over the Bottleneck Bridge, where Mums in 4x4s seem incapable of understanding the concept of giving way. This results in a regular pile-up on both sides of the tiny bridge as no-one can get past and no-one's prepared to back-up (or perhaps can't, reverse can be challenging in a [insert 4 x 4 of choice]. I digress. James gets dropped off as quickly as possible, giving me time to do a U-ie (sp) and head for the M4, where I promptly get stuck in the traffic fro...

William's 13th birthday passed without incident yesterday and was actually, as he himself put it, 'the best birthday I've ever had where it's been a school day." We're still coming to terms with being the parents of a teenager . Will is great. Of course he has the odd strop (don't we all?) but on the whole he's pretty awesome. Very much his own man. Will is also very like me in a lot of ways, particularly when it comes to the forgetful, ditzy side that he has. Reminds me of me in the; 'my dog ate my homework'* stage I went through at about his age. I've warned him already that this may be a stage that never goes away...it hasn't for me anyway. As for Number Two. He claims to be 'exhausted' at all times, having been awake apparently for hours on end every night. I don't believe him. Today we were supposed to be going to cricket nets, which I knew he didn't want to try. To add insult to injury, I had to go a call 4pm - ...

Day Six and we haven't touched a drop. Doesn't sound like a long time, but if I think about it - it is. What with the wedding back in December and then the run-up to, and aftermath of, Christmas and New Year, we have pretty much been drinking almost every night. It's so easy to let alcohol creep up on you and become a habit. The scary thing is that you don't notice, and it creeps up some more. Soon, as well as drinking often, you drink more. And more. And more. And more often. And so on... I know where that leads. Time to take a break.

Despite having been due on Christmas Day, William decided to turn up two weeks late on 8th January ( see early blogging efforts ). The same day as Elvis, no less! He has been described fondly as "a lemon on a pair of cocktail sticks" by his Godfather over the years, but size aside, when it comes to the other attributes associated with the (almost) teenage boy, William ticks many of the boxes, a short list of which includes: Inability to get up in the morning  Non-existent personal grooming regime  Addiction to the X Box Addition to sundry screens including iphone, iPad, Macbook, Surface, Kindle (whatever's switched on) Addiction to YouTube Severe grumpiness Frustration at the Unfairness Of The World Despair and/or/including embarrassment at the idiocy/uselessness of his parents A growing arsenal of disparaging one-liners Inability to sit still Obsession with Game of Thrones, and the age at which he'll be able to watch it Frequent rejection of smaller br...

Day two of 2019 and I'm concerned that that eggy bread with maple syrup for breakfast, didn't conform to my new low-carb, low-fat, low-sugar diet. On the plus side, it is alcohol-free, so at least that's something. 24 hours into my new regime of heath and vitality it's safe to say I feel as far from healthy and vital as it's possible to feel. Onwards and upwards. I'm turning the heating on for starters.