Chickens in a box

It's typical - you don't go out from one month's end to the next and then all of a sudden you're inundated with nights out. Not that I'm complaining... We've been out in Newbury with the Micro Focus lot for beers and a curry, followed by my girlie night out with Tessa which finally came to an end at 4am the following morning after huge amounts of wine and some dreadful dancing to Tight Fit (there is no excuse). Onwards and upwards to our first village party later the same day, where I managed to down a glass of chilled red and a couple of sausage rolls while the children ate or destroyed as much of the Christmas tree as possible. An hour was enough. We fled. In the meantime rehearsals for William's nativity continued apace, culminating in the final show on Friday which both Eddie and I and Richard and Sonya attended; standing on tables at the back to try and catch a glimpse of our little sheep. Easier said than done with a sea of frantically photographing pa...

It turns out I didn't need to be nervous about going into school today with James. It was such a nice morning and everyone was very friendly and helpful. I even had coffee in the staffroom! Feeling much more confident that spending time there on a voluntary basis could be the change in my life I'm looking for. There is so much to learn, I have no experience whatsoever and that is quite daunting. But at the same time I'm excited about the future and taking my life in a new direction.

Everytime one of the children is ill your heart sinks because you know you're on borrowed time. I think in my case my immune system is pretty much invincible because I'm exposed to germs all the time, but unfortunately Eddie is a sitting duck. Sure enough, by Friday morning he was a vomiting wreck, consigned to bed for the duration of the day while I tootled about taking the chilren to nursery/pre-school before heading off to St Martins to see if I could help out a couple of mornings a week. By mid-morning I'd secured a couple of dates to go back to school and spend more time with the children, while Eddie had managed to down a couple of Paracetamol and go back to sleep. Fortunately he rallied by the afternoon and we had a lovely evening with Richard and Sonya, so nice to relax in the luxurious surroundings of our new and improved sitting room with friends and fine wine :) A busy weekend has followed, and Eddie has been fantastic - taking Will to get all the shopping yest...

Back from a totally exhausting trip into Reading on a Christmas shopping mission. Approached with military precision we managed to get something for everyone....except James....I think a solo expedition into Hungerford may be in order. We did manage to squeeze in lunch followed by Bond and were just heading home when nursery called to say Will had been sick. Racing down the M4 we got to nursery to find him full of beans, but unfortunately it was short-lived and he proceeded to vomit everywhere on the way home and then again in bed. Heartrending. Fortunately he seems to have expelled whatever it was that was causing the sickness so here's hoping tomorrow's a better day.

Fresh from my Christmas pudding extravaganza I'm now drowning in a sea of jam jars as I finally make medlar jelly - something I've been threatening to do since we moved here. With Eddie in the US and the house buffeted by gale force winds and torrential rains there's something very comforting about pootling about in a steamy kitchen making jams and jellys. Even James likes it - happy playing on the floor with whatever he can get his hands on; mould cleaner, Domestos, Silvo, Fairy, the odd raw potato......

Both William and James are thumbsuckers, it runs in the family (and I also refused to give them dummies so they didn't have much of a choice)... They also both suck their left thumbs, although it remains to be seen whether or not either one will be left-handed - at the moment our money's on William. Rabbit and William are still inseparable and he would have to be absolutely exhausted to suck his thumb without Rabbit. James on the other hand couldn't care less and has never shown the slightest interest in any of his cuddly toys. But one thing he does do, and I've only just noticed, is that as he's sucking his them, he circles the inside of his sleeve with the fingers of his right hand. Tiny details. Completely fascinating. .

My ongoing crusade to be a true domestic goddess continues, this time it was Christmas pudding on the menu and my mentor Sonya came round with Lucy, Andrew and Mattie to oversee a complicated operation - not least because as well as concocting the pudding itself, you also need the athleticism and lightening reflexes required to dodge lego pieces, children (some dressed in a variety of random ninja/animal costumes) and the cat. Fortunately everything went according to plan and my two puds were eventually left to simmer for the rest of the day (and half the night) while we went next door to swipe at polo balls from my bike, torment the rabbits, kick a football about and generally enjoy an arctic, but very beautiful, October afternoon.

"It is not a good idea to eat soil."

Trying to get myself ready this morning and feeling smug that we were nearly ready to head off to nursery, when cries of 'it was a accident, Mummy' and much scuffling in the bathroom made my heart sink. Peering round the corner I found William in the bathroom frantically pulling out Kandoos and swiping at his feet, fearing the worst I walked into his room to be greeted by two eyewatering piles of faeces. Sometimes, when faced with situations of this magitude you freeze, unable to take in the horror let alone do anything about it. To add insult to injury he'd even managed to smear it into one of the hinges of his ELC garage. How the...? Alas sinking to the floor and weeping was not an option. Teeth gritted, armed with reams of loo roll and a can of industrial-strength Vanish I set to work while William kindly pointed out where the poo was and James tried to crawl through it.

I fear I'm losing it. Last night, whilst slumped in front of a double-bill of Heroes followed by Desperate Housewives, I realised that I bibble to the boys all day and then in the evening, sit mindlessly in front of the TV, too tired to speak. Eddie is much the same after fighting off a million political backstabbers and then coming home and slumping next to his comatose wife. After a really long day, the only activity you can cope with is one which requires zero effort on any front. But I'm finding that the downside of it is that whenever I come into contact with another adult, I witter appallingly, and then come home and worry that I really am turning into a desperate housewife. Fortunately there is a possible solution to the gradual disintegration of my adult brain cells. I've just started doing a tiny bit of freelance PR work. It's terrifying having to ring the FT after 8 years out of the game, but I also secured a briefing for later today with the CEO of the compan...

It's just a good job there's no sound to go with this picture of Will and Fleur murdering the piano with their own, unique rendition of 'Baa baa black sheep'.

Hard to believe a whole year has gone by since we booked in to have Number 2 Son. We celebrated with Grandpa at Finkley Down Farm surrounded by a menagerie of small, furry animals. Birthday lunch was a timeless classic; chips with ketchup followed by cake. James attempted to eat his candle before gnawing the icing off the cake, shredding it and throwing the discarded crumbs over as much of the carpet as possible. William, Grandpa and I rose above the carnage and sang 'Happy Birthday', much to the amusement of the rest of the Finkley Down Caff's occupants.

Funny to think that a few years ago we were small children manically cycling around the show eating candy floss and zipping down the helter skelter. In our teenage years we graduated to the Members Enclosure and spent the show drinking as much as was humanly possible, waking up on day two fresh as daisies and ready to do the whole thing again. Now look at us - responsible parents with our two little boys, the very model of respectability. At least future shows won't hold any surprises when Will and James get older...

At last! Closure on a 'will she, won't she' return to work situation and a firm 'she won't' was the final call. It's been dragging on since the middle of June with Vodafone trying to find me a flexible, part-time role which would mean I'd have enough time to do my job but still give Will time to go to his pre-school. Unfortunately part-time only seemed to run to 4 days a week and there was no one to job share with. HR finally offered me my old job back - talk about the wheel turning full circle. There was absolutely no way I was prepared to do that again so I confirmed that I would not be returning. It's then taken nearly 3 weeks, an email and two phone calls from myself to finally confirm that I won't be coming back and that the team will finally be told. A farce. 7 years I've worked there and had some of the happiest times of my career. I always knew that underneath it all I was just a number, but the way I've been treated over t...

...another bunfight. This time a trip to Newbury in the torrential rain; wrestling with double buggy, rain cover, tons of shopping and grumpy offspring. It would have been relatively quick and painless had I not made the fatal error of going into Laura Ashley to get a spare duvet cover for William in honour of Great Uncle David's impending visit this weekend. I got to the doors and found them shut - teeth gritted the only way through was via the time honoured and highly technical (double) buggy-reverse and then, if successful, make a break for the lift without knocking anything twee over. So far so good until we got upstairs to find the entire boys section buried under a heap of boxes. Fortunately the lady in the shop was very helpful and found a lovely train patterned duvet which William approved of. Having paid we turned tail and fled, leaving a trail of white, fluffy towels, linen throws and a few random scatter cushions in our wake.

Tuesdays are my day off, and yet by mid-afternoon I always seem to feel adrift and counting the hours until I can pick the boys up. Polo in the morning is a permanent fixture and I love it. Got home for a shower, lunch, the ironing and hoovering (God, I loathe hoovering) before heading into Marlborough for a bit of a shop. Typically it chucked it down with rain and there was NOTHING worth investing in. So I spent the whole afternoon plodding mindlessly round town before heading back via Hungerford Somerfield and then to nursery to scoop up my two angels. Hmmmm... I scooped James up with no problem and then it was onwards to the Toddler Room to find Will. Number 1 son was indisposed and when he eventually emerged from the bathroom it was to announce "I wet myself". After finding his spare trousers and wrestling them onto my squirming son, I set off to find his wet jeans. It only took 10 seconds before James erupted into screams, William having opened the Emergency Exit, James ...

I try so hard not to lose mine, but have to admit that today I failed miserably. We're a bit topsy-turvy this week because I had to attend a Speed Awareness course yesterday afternoon to avoid uppping my points to 9. A hideous waste of a day and the boys had to go to nursery. So today I had the brainwave of going along to playgroup. A bad move. Two hours spent carrying round a miserable James who hated all the noise, whilst trying to stop other children from either slapping William or trying to steal whatever toy he happened to be holding. Home to what should have been a simple meal of fishfingers, peas and cheesey mash, which turned the kitchen into a food-encrusted bombsite. Followed by a tantrum by Will because he didn't want a wee wee and whilst wrestling him onto the loo, James made a break for freedom, upturned Molly's cat bowl and began stuffing handfuls of cat food into his gob. I cracked. Yelled my frustration at the kitchen furniture, counted to 10 and put ev...

At last James is old enough to have his own bike seat and today we celebrated his 11 months in the world with a trip to The Crown and Garter. The boys had a packed lunch with sandwiches, biltong, strawberries and muffins while Eddie and I washed down ploughmans and chips with lager shandy. I am proud to say that William is now a firm biltong fan; it joins pork scratchings - which he also loves - as a snack of choice for the more discerning. Alas the only downside to all this rural bliss, is having to cycle home again... :)

Back downstairs, dripping wet and in my robe after having gone upstairs to check on the boys only to find William slathered head to toe in Sudocreme! Hilarious. And the guilty half-smile on his white face was something else. Getting the stuff off was a total nightmare, I must have used almost every lotion and potion in the shower trying to get it off. He'd even smeared it over his eyes, so you can imagine the howls when I had to soap it off.... A lesson learned the hard way - I will NEVER leave a pot of Sudocreme where small hands can find it. And cover themselves in it.

It's worth mentioning that about 5 minutes after sitting on Ferrari last week, Will's face swelled up so much that it took a full 24 hours and several doses of Piriton before he finally resumed his usual shape. He went a little bit red in one eye after stroking two of the dogs at the yard, but Ferrari sent him into total spin. Horses are clearly an issue! I would still let him sit on one of the ponies again, maybe dose him up beforehand and see what happens. Surely the more he's exposed the more his system will begin to recognise allergens and begin to settle down? The irony for me is that I'm such an animal lover, and I want us to have a dog one day and maybe even a horse, but while William is so sensitive it can't be an option. In the meantime we're going to back to the Quack on Thursday to discuss asthma and try to agree whether Will actually has it or not...

It is SO DIFFICULT. But I absolutely love it. Today I rode Evita, very fast and who turned on a sixpence making it very hard to stay on. Apparantly the secret is to think 'snowplow' and grip as hard as you can. Today I escaped unscathed, but suspect I may be on borrowed time....In the meantime hitting the ball remains very much a case of luck rather than judgement, and it was only in the last 5 minutes I managed to do a whole length of the pitch at a canter, by which time Eddie and the boys had gone in. Typical!

Everyone has their off days and today was Will's. It began with a row over Rice Krispies (William didn't want any milk on them), cutlery was thrown, screams followed swiftly. The situation was finally diffused by the removal of both children from the kitchen, leaving Eddie to eat alone while I breathed deeply in the snug, clutching a (fortunately) cuddly James and listening to William gradually calming down outside on the carpet. Minutes passed and, realising no one was paying him any attention, Will gave up and breakfast resumed without incident. The rest of the morning was spent happily enough with Eddie at home trying to finish a squillion tiny jobs he hasn't got round to doing in the last 3 months and us lot at the pool. Alas pride comes before a fall and my big mistake of the day was deciding we should go for a walk along the canal in Kintbury. Will hated the idea immediately and was only cajoled into the car once Rabbit was produced. More screams when we got to Kintbu...

We don't go out for months on end and then suddenly we've found ourselves at a different restaurant every night. Well, not quite - but it certainly feels that way. We had John and Helen to stay last week and treated them, and Daddy, to lunch at the Peat Spade on the Tuesday while the boys were at nursery (I still feel guilty about enjoying myself without them...), followed by a lovely tootle round the river. Thursday was my birthday and after being showered with a heap of presents, Eddie treated me to supper at my absolute favourite restaurant The Harrow at Little Bedwyn. It didn't disappoint, I do love that place. On Saturday we had a post-Brittany debrief with Anthony and Beverly, whose house we stayed in, but as we couldn't get a babysitter, they came over armed with an entire 3 course supper! Fantastic, and enjoyed in the garden on a balmy summers evening with some Breton wine to wash it down with. Feeling slightly jaded by now, Sunday was spent trying to wake ou...

I'm in the sitting room, finally warm after a long hot bath, face mask (or is it masque?) and a good book to try and defrost after another arctic summers day. Eddie's workmates came over for a barbie today and we were really looking forward to it. Don't get me wrong, it was a lovely afternoon (apart from the sub-siberian temperatures and gale force winds), but I spent all but 10 minutes looking after our two small children. In Will's case it was just making sure he didn't upset any of the other children who'd come over to visit by wrestling them for whatever toy they'd innocently chosen to play with. James was a bit different in that he refused to be picked up and held by anyone except Eddie and I. When the first two guests arrived he was in his bouncer on the doorframe - his favourite thing - and as soon as he clapped eyes on them he went completely still....for about 30 seconds....before his eyes welled up.....and then the terrible, distraught wail cut thr...

Quiet times, well, as quiet as it ever gets round here. Eddie's been painting Richard and Sonya's house this week, great fun watching it change from pink to pale blue but a huge undertaking. So it's just been me and the children at home and I've found it strange having been so used to having Eddie at home. I'll miss him terribly when he goes back to work in 3 weeks time. Tuesdays are now firmly fixed as both boys' full day at nursery and we've started making it the day we go out for lunch. Such a treat because we so rarely get any time to ourselves. Yesterday I had a far more successful polo lesson than last week's pitiful effort, then rescued Eddie from the scaffold and went for a medicinal moule et frites before heading into work for another meeting with HR. Negotiations about my return continue unresolved but we'll get there eventually.

It's been a whirlwind weekend spent in Sussex for Maddie's 40th birthday party. Hot on the heels of our holiday, our ability to pack the necessities totally deserted us and we forgot all James' bottles and his travel cot. Poor little mite ended up sleeping on a duvet on the floor surrounded by a collection of cushions, suitcases and shelving units to 'box him in'. Fortunately by the end of yesterday he was so exhausted he was asleep in seconds. As ever, the same could not be said for his elder brother... The party was great fun with Eddie, Sue, Jim, Kirsten and I setting up camp in the kitchen and nattering away while the wine flowed. Alas it didn't flow in my direction as I'd drawn the short straw and ended up as chauffeur for the evening. I don't really mind, a hangover with the boys is hell on earth, but then again it's quite hard to get into the party mood when everyone around you is getting progressively more giggly and you're knocking back ...

Back at home after a wonderful two weeks in Brittany. We took the ferry across from Portsmouth to St Malo, which meant we could also take our trucker Toyota crammed full of gear. A small cabin and travel cot meant the babies could sleep during the crossing, while Eddie and I hid in the miniscule bathroom with a stash of salami sandwiches, chocolate and a bottle of red. Holiday highlights: Amazing seafood A rather alarming (and probably alarmed) crab we took home in a plastic bag for supper, who promptly skewered the sides with all its claws and frightened the life out of poor Will. It then wouldn't fit into the saucepan....at which point Eddie took charge and I scuttled out of the kitchen and left him to it. It was delicious. Huitres - oysters to you and me. Absolutely delicious but you can have too much of a good thing. The last 6 we ate ended up giving Eddie acute paranoia that this time he'd eaten the 'dodgy' one and was about to spend the rest of the night throwin...

A lovely day spent at Ascot yesterday enjoying champagne, lobster, fine wines and the occasional race as and when we could make it to the track. Came home slightly worse off than we left, but nothing too hideous thank heavens. The boys were both fine, James did his first full day at nursery without batting an eyelid and Sonya and Lucy survived bathtime and stayed on for Heroes and pasta! Alas poor Rabbit didn't make it home from nursery with William and this proved a total deal breaker for him. He absolutely refused to go to sleep until eventually was physically unable to remain conscious a second longer (at around 9ish). Unfortunately he then woke up at 2am utterly inconsolable. Nothing we tried worked, he didn't want Polar Bear, or Soft Rabbit, no subsitute would be accepted. He wouldn't come into bed with us. In the end we put him back in his own bed, sobbing his heart out and I got in with him and we both eventually went to sleep, Will until 7.30 and I got up at 5.45 as...

We take them for granted, but Will had never even seen one before so I decided it was time to initiate him into one of life's greatest treats. Watching his face was absolutely fascinating, he was intrigued and then couldn't quite understand all the sugar that had suddenly appeared all over his face. But the best bit of all was when William found the jam in the middle - his face lit up. Suffice to say the doughnut didn't last long after that, the whole thing disappeared in minutes. It's amazing watching him, everything is absolutely brand new, everything is an adventure. Roll on Brittany, he is SO excited. He has no idea what France or ferries are, but cannot wait to find out.

....but making the most of the sunshine now it's back. Today Will, James and I went for a walk down the canal at Kintbury, watching the boats and feeding the ducks. The boys were in heaven. We stopped off at the corner shop on the way home for icecreams which was the icing on the cake and James shared both Will and my Fruit Pastille lollies from his McLaren throne. Managed to get a little downtime at lunch, enough to read The News of the World cover to cover (I haven't read it since we cancelled our subscription about 4 months ago), have a snooze and get sunburn. Then headed off out for a happy afternoon spent with guinea pigs and Greens. Two very tired boys went to bed without a murmur, leaving me manically baking (something I'm still really into) and creating a child-friendly (in otherwords no salt, red wine, stock, sun-dried tomato paste, or anything scrummy) lasagne. Am currently sampling the fruits of my labours and watching yet more episodes of Lost. A perfect end to ...

Things have really been coming together recently, James is growing into a lovely little boy, William's settled and happy and we've got so many plans for pre-school, doing up the house etc. Eddie's sabbatical is going well and it's been lovely having him at home and I'm gradually getting a little freedom back with polo lessons which are just great fun. But it's never straightforward and now my first interview with work looms and we'll have to make new plans to accommodate that. I'm trying not to brood too much but it's difficult. In the meantime Eddie has gone home for a week to be with Julia who's recovering still but thankfully out of hospital now. It's important for him to be there, but at the same time knackering for me and I will miss him terribly tomorrow. It's our fifth wedding anniversary and the first we've spent apart.

James cracks sitting up - for a few minutes at least, before collapsing into a heap and wriggling off to a new destination. Funny how you tootle along for months and nothing really changes, and then suddenly children do something completely different which changes everything. William loves having a little brother who's up and about (if still stationary), within reason. Sharing is great as a concept, as long as he doesn't actually have to share....and he spent a good 15 minutes banished to the corner yesterday for tipping a mug of cold, paddling pool water on James' head. He eventually resorted to weeing on the patio in the hope it'd get a reaction, but Eddie and I were unwavering in our resolve. Poor William couldn't quite grasp the concept that if he apologised to James he could come and play (or maybe he did, but was too stubborn to swallow his pride). Eventually he managed to whisper 'sorry' and gave James a kiss. Thank heavens. This discipline mal...

The end of such a busy week, with William, James and I ending our social marathon by hitting Fulham on Friday to see the girls and their respective offspring. Great to see the twins after such a long time, I can't believe how much they've changed. Octavia took a shine to Will and spent much of the morning passing him playballs, which Will promptly lobbed into the garden while she carried on watching him adoringly :) An ambrosial lunch washed down with pink champagne which disappeared in a couple of gulps. That's the only problem; all you want to do is kick back with your girlfriends, drink fizz and enjoy a good old gossip, but with a herd of children under your feet it is absolutely impossible. Finally got home at teatime more tired than you can possibly imagine.

A great, if very busy day starting with a polo lesson. I was hoping Eddie, James and Will would come and watch but unfortunately they got trapped in Tescos and arrived just as we finished. I was really disappointed, but it worked out in the end - Will had a sit on Ferrari and was thrilled and I have another sesh next week to look forward to. They're all going to come with me for that one. I am loving it, it's the one time I have just to be me; bombing around whacking balls about on a horse. At my age it's not often you learn something new so it's very refreshing to have this chance. Afterwards it was back home to get everything ready for The Greens who came for lunch. We had a feast, the sun shone, everybody cleaned their plates and had seconds, then the children played in the garden while we kept a watchful eye and chilled for a bit. Just a wonderful way to spend the afternoon. Poor Eddie had to have some more physio on his shoulder, but it's getting better slowly,...