Chickens in a box

Sometimes I feel like I live my whole life through words on a screen. I worry I won't actually be able to articulate what I'm trying to express without it being in text form first. I am immersed in words, words, words.  The other day, I spent about 12 hours sitting down in front of this machine, with about 30 minutes here and there (if you counted it up) to take breaks. And when I finally surfaced I just needed to get outside. So we had a barbecue, sitting in deckchairs by the chimnea (sp?), toasting marshmallows, identifying constellations, looking for Mars and putting the world to rights. There's something about being outside at night. It has a timelessness that takes you away from the world of the machines that seem to govern much of our lives. It's a few days later now, and the weather is still incredible for this time of year. Global warming I guess. The bees are out and the chickens pootling around the flowerbeds looking for snacks. It's fabulous to feel...

I haven't written about Bella since she died. Can't believe it's nearly four months ago now. Can't believe she isn't here, and how cruelly and suddenly she was taken from us. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her, or dream of her. Often I find myself standing quietly looking down on the carpet of snowdrops that cover the place where she lies, remembering her. Until the chickens find me and start pecking my boots anyway. Sometimes when I come in from work, or from a trip away, I wonder why she hasn't come to the gate to greet me. Then I remember. When Eddie or one of the boys leave their black backpacks down where Bella's bed was, I do a double-take thinking she's there. For a split second it's a dream. Until it's not. It is getting easier, you just have to put one foot in front of the other as I always tell myself. What else can you do? And I know that one day we'll be ready to bring a new puppy into the family, I know it will h...

...Just haven't been able to see one for the other recently. It's all I can do to keep my head above water. But I'm swimming. For now. Eddie's been away this weekend in Edinburgh with his mates, so it's been a quiet one for the boys and I. This morning I woke up and knew it was going to be a wonderful, sunny day - and so far it hasn't disappointed. We went to the gym this morning where I ploughed through Body Attack full of fry-up and nursing a double stitch for pretty much the whole class as a result. The boys went swimming, and we met up at the bench at 11am ready to argue about whether they'd be allowed gobstoppers or not (not).  Back home to bake this weekend's sourdough, which has worked for a second time running. Can it be that I have finally cracked it? My Holy Grail is to be one of those women who bakes sourdough every weekend, I am on the path at last. The boys have helped me prepare fish pie for supper, wrestle the chickens out of th...

I have turned into a watch tapper. Literally every five minutes I find myself glaring at some poor unsuspecting victim whilst furiously tapping the face of my watch. This is a new habit, formed after Cisco Live  in Barcelona last week which was primarily spent walking around 8Ks a day (according to my Health app) round the labyrinthine  Fira . Our schedules for Cisco Live were managed down to the last footstep; distances measured in minutes, presentations delivered to the second. And so the tapping of the watch began... Unfortunately I now seem unable to stop, which is a worry. Having done yet another 'glare and tap'  this morning, I've taken the advice of a colleague and moved the watch to my right wrist in the hope that it'll end this (slightly alarming) new practice. In other news, I'm out and about again, this time in Paris for a second time in four weeks. Being away is becoming increasingly difficult, mainly because these recent trips have come very clo...