Deal Breaker

For months James has been complaining that he doesn't want to do judo anymore. It's only one hour a week, and we think it's been great for him to be part of a club, outside school, learning a skill that he's actually pretty good at. But the tantrums and tears have escalated until Eddie and I have come to dread Tuesday evenings.

The question is; if James hates judo so much these days, why make him go? Because he might regret it later? Because it's great to learn a new sport? Because it'll keep him fit? All those reasons and more, but that's only because we know what it's like to give something up and then feel all those things. What does James care about hindsight, or learning from his parents' experiences. Nowt.

So I did a deal with him. If he stuck at judo until Christmas and went every week - without complaining - then we could revisit the situation in the new year and he could give up if he wanted to.

Alas the concept of honouring a deal is completely alien to James, so when the 'J' word surfaced on the way home from school and James curled into a foetal position, I knew the whole endeavour was doomed. Some battles you just can't win. But I would have accepted defeat with considerably more grace had James kept up his end of the bargain.



Comments

Unknown said…
'A black belt is a white belt that never gave up' A quote from Matthew's judo coach. No one said parenting was easy and there isn't a manual. You do the best you can at the time and sometimes pick the battles you need to fight. The process is exhausting, you just have to hope they pick up the good things you instill in them.
8 October 2018 at 21:56
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