The meaning of Fear

Bath time and the end was in sight, James was whinging because William wanted to get out first so I dried Will quickly and let him go while I fished James out of the water. As it was early the plan was to watch The Night Garden for a bit before bed.

With James dried and in his jim jams I called for William but he didn't answer. Shouting a bit louder (and starting to get cross) he still didn't come. So I went downstairs thinking he'd be fiddling with the telly - no one there. Starting to worry and with James trailing after me holding Will's pyjamas I called and called whilst looking in all their favourite hiding places but there was total silence.

The front door was locked, but the back door wasn't, and the wind had blown open the door into the garden. By now I was really worried, visions of some nutter coming into the house and grabbing Will ran through my head and I called Eddie in a panic to tell him I couldn't find William anywhere.

Screaming round the house I looked over and over again for him and then suddenly as I sat at the bottom of the stairs absolutely petrified he'd been snatched, a voice came from the spare room; 'come and see where I was hiding, Mummy'.

I disintegrated. Honestly, I have NEVER been so terrified in my entire life. The most awful thing about it is that he could hear me all that time getting more and more panicked and said nothing. He'd been hiding under the heap of duvets and blankets in the spare room - I'd looked but obviously not thoroughly enough.

Thank heavens Eddie came home quickly and took over while I tried to regroup in the kitchen. Mindlessly reading The Times I heard small footsteps coming down the stairs and William appeared. 'Sorry,' he said as he climbed into my lap for a cuddle.

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