Doing it all...

Impossible. Even working two days a month now, takes its toll; squeezing in an hour here and an hour there. Since having the children I have found it hard to find a balance between their needs and mine.

I went back to work full-time after we had William and was miserable, I missed him so much, leaving him at nursery for 4 1/2 days a week. Then when the weekend finally came round all I did was rush around trying to catch up with the shopping/housework etc. Rush, rush, rush and no time to enjoy being a mother. I ended up having to make a decision - career or children. It wasn't hard and I have never regretted it.

Sometimes, like today, when I feel like I'm running to stand still, trying to get through a mountain of ironing and other exceptionally dull jobs while the children whinge and fight with each other, I wonder what on earth I'm doing. But they bring me so much happiness, watching them when they're together (like today, William feeding James bites of his apple) makes it all worth while.

And in the meantime my freelancing slots into the quiet times, my confidence grows and I start to remember all the things I've achieved and can still achieve. It's a tiny piece of the world that is mine and mine alone. When you're responsible for the well-being of 3 male egos, that means alot!

Comments

Lowly said…
...I have no doubt I will go through the same thing come April 2010.
29 June 2009 at 00:22
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